Human rights for parents

Sunday night homework panic for the boy.

Not arguing this time that its clearly my responsibility. 

We all know that he only does maths homework and the rest is up to us. 

This time its a photograph competition for human rights. The teachers know we are a liberal family so we get lesbian and gay rights. ‘Have you got any ideas?’ we ask the boy – ‘why would I?’ Back to the Xbox for another 5 hours in the flow. ‘By the way – make it good – I want to win’.

Father makes an executive decision (as always)  13 year old girl and friend will pose as lesbians on an LGBT march. He’s artistically challenged but cracks on with the banner regardless.

All done but 13 years olds rebel and refuse point blank to pose – even with bribery and begging.

Son finally comes up with something: ‘why don’t we do child abuse instead and you pretend to hit me with a belt?’ (Tempting).

Time is running out. Should I email the street and ask if one of the neighbours will pose as a lesbian with me? But how to word it? Don’t want another camping incident. 

Whatsapp Sharon. She says put ‘Woman  urgently needed for lesbian role play. Children involved’. Can I trust her after last time though? 

Have a moment of inspiration. Maybe if I find those blond hair extensions I used for my OBE friend’s TOWIE party, and a lampstand that would work? 

Job done! 

Watch this space to see if he wins.


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